Flaccid American Universities

Michelle Fields of PJTV went to George Washington University to question students about Hilary Clinton and her aspiration of the White House. Most of them were ebullient and enthusiastic about the Secretary of State seating herself in the Oval Office where her husband . . . (ahem).

All were in favor of her running in ’16, some almost to the point of exultation.

However, when asked to actually name some of those most reverent and stratospheric accomplishments that Ms. Clinton achieved, the students of that lofty and expensive education mill that claims the name of our first President, the proverbial Deer-in-the-headlights were the result of these eager young Leftist minds.

You can virtually see their flaccid little brains greatly straining to phrase their wording in a way that parades an ‘intelligencia,’ but when substance was called for, silence followed.

Then, finally, oxygen-rich blood reaches the spacious cavity that sits atop those proud shoulders, and the answers sputter out like a five year old with a ring of chocolate circling his mouth trying to come up with a rational explanation for the empty Oreo jar.

Here’s one kid’s opinion, a thin, mop-haired male version of a bimbo.

“Definitely . . . I think this is really an era of progression in politics, we could set the stage for . . . really . . . set an example for the rest of thew world.”

With words tumbling out of his mouth like marbles poured out on a glass table, he adds,

“As Secretary of State she has just done a great job in not letting things deteriorate . . .”

Then, after his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech like answer, he blurts out this nervous little “Okay, you got me” giggle and adds in a halting staccato, “Honestly, I’m not very up to date with politics, but I know she hasn’t made a major mistake and that would definitely be an accomplishment.”

So . . . let me get this straight. She accomplished not making a mistake. Thank you, sweetheart, Oh! lookie there, the bus is here. Time to go back to The Home.

One pitiful little thing had a bit of trouble forming complete sentences,

“That’d be really cool cause she’s a woman.”

Yeah, and shiny things are really pretty.

Another paragon of worldly knowledge who clearly sees herself one day addressing Congress on the injustice and abuse this country has fostered on the northwestern rat ferret, said,

“Hilary is an amazing woman, she’s done so much.”

Then when the question, ‘what do you think is her greatest achievement as Secretary of State?’ she came up with,

“There’s just so many, just the fact that she’s . . .” here she lapses into a long silence as the poor thing grinds her watch-sized cranial gears to give any sort of feeble answer. But then, just when you thought she would flinch and send springs and other hardware flying from her head and lean to one side, still as a post, she nails it,

“. . . been such . . . a world leader, um, and recognized all over as doing so many great things, like . . .”

Wait for it, wait for it, here it comes, get ready,

“I don’t even know that I could pick a single accomplishment.”

I know what you mean, honey, there are so many actors I don’t even know that I could cite a single one. There’s so many ice cream flavors, so many car makes, so many restaurants . . .

Yeah, who in the world could name a single one.

But the star of the day was this Neanderthal who typifies the Liberal American Education system that has been committed against the this nation and its victims.

“I’m a honestly a huge Hilary fan, I think that, uh, Hilary can do a lot for this country, I loved her tenure as Secretary of State, I’m actually doing my senior thesis on it, um, at the moment, so . . . I mean I, honestly, if I could see her run for President I’d definitely vote for her.”

Okay, he would definitely vote for her, he’s doing his senior thesis on – well, I guess since he didn’t use the personal pronoun he’s speaking of the office of Secretary of State and not Hilary – and he’s just about to name her accomplishment. So, verbatim, here is the broken . . . no, make that shattered, English from someone with an American accent,

“In the way she handled Benghazi was . . . ruh-markably . . . adept at international affairs, so I really respect her for that.”

Just to make sure that she heard Jar-Jar Binks right, the interviewer probed further,

“So, you think probably Benghazi is one of her best accomplishments.”

Not realizing how truly fatuous his statement was, and again, with a command of the English language that would make the average house pet green with envy, he says,

“I mean, um . . . no accomplishment is without fail, but I think that it ranks pretty high up on . . .uh . . . the level of emergency that it presenin (sic) and how well it was handled, so yeah, I would definitely say that Benghazi’s her . . . high-point.”

That is an exact quote, mispronunciations and non-sequiturs all.

So, there you have it. Our fine young voting block, all prepped and ready for the booth. I imagine their parents voted for the current administration, so perhaps the fault lies there.

If neo-Darwinism wasn’t so aggressively inane and downright stupid, I could believe it is being played out on our campuses, only in reverse.

May God grant us the moral fortitude to legalize late, late, late, late, LATE-term abortions.

About the Author

Joe Keck is a writer of horror, thriller, suspense, and other fiction, some poetry and music, with the occasional op-ed piece on current events, politics, and theology. Although born in Oklahoma, he was taken to Los Angeles when he was an infant, or as his mother described, "the ugliest little thing I've ever seen", and raised there on the West Coast. He considers himself to be far superior to most on the artistic merits of film and literature, seeing the vast majority of such to be well below adequate. He has four novels and many short stories to his credit, and hopes to one day have them published, promising to hold critics like himself in harsh derision. He's currently restoring a Jason 35 sailboat and plans to sail the world, writing horror stories, and marveling at the illustrative works of the Creator and His Divine story-telling imagery. You may Find Joe's Website at http://www.joekeck.com/

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  1. Joe this site had this to say about your story – http://www.newmarksdoor.com/mainblog/2014/07/flaccid-american-universities.html

    “Flaccid American Universities”
    Imprecisely titled–the author means not the universities per se, but the students–but still interesting. And sad because the students in question attend my alma mater.

    (And, come to think of it, “flaccid” is also a poor choice. Better would be a reference to Edward James Olmos in Stand and Deliver: “It’s not that they’re stupid, it’s just they don’t know anything.”)

  2. I was not making a statement about the morality of abortion. I was pointing out that saying you want a “late, late-term abortion” for 20-year-olds because they are ignorant, means you are joking about murdering them.

  3. Excuse me, Mr. dwpittelli, you’re not suggesting abortion is murder are you? After all, we know full well that which is in a mother’s womb is no more than a blob of inert and lifeless tissue . . . that sucks its little inert tissue thumb and kicks its little inert tissue feet.

    But seriously, anyone who knows me or my writing knows that I would never be in favor of ‘aborting’ anyone, no matter how inert the tissue in their George Washington university heads are.

    But, if you are offended at the idea of killing a person through abortion, I applaud your sensitivity and apologize for the affront.

    Thank you, Praelium, sir, for your much too kind words.

    Hey Al, thanks, and thank you all for reading.

  4. “I know what you mean, honey, there are so many actors I don’t even know that I could cite a single one.” Mr. Keck’s brilliant writing shines next to the dark, broken thoughts of some contemporary college students.

  5. “May God grant us [the strength to murder ignorant college students.]”? That’s a bit over-the-top even for a jokey ending to a story bemoaning the ignorance of college students.

  6. I have observed the same phenomenon – only with “adult” co-workers and neighbors. We are well and truly doomed.

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