Two Pink Slips for Two O’s

Bill O’Reilly of Fox News spoke to Barack Obama just before the game last week in a televised pre-game interview. At first, I was surprised that Obama would do it. But after I saw the interview, I came away thinking he should be run out of town on a rail.


Oh no, not Obama, Bill O’Reilly!

O’Reilly has a reputation of grilling his guests, asking the tough questions and going after them with a red-faced passion for getting at the truth.

Now, I do understand, it’s the President. One doesn’t thrust the chest out and point a finger at the President of the United States of America. I get that. Therefore, in interviewing the President, one must be intelligent enough to get the same results without coming off as disrespectful to the office.

And Bill O’Reilly ain’t got it.

For starters, he wanted to know if Obama thinks his “biggest mistake” was telling everyone they can keep their healthcare. I don’t know about you, but I would have known that the response from Obama on that one would have shined something less than culpable. Even if he did think it was his biggest mistake, he would have said that someone, somewhere, screwed up and he’d taken the necessary steps to fix the problem and concentrate on getting our country on the right track.

Why didn’t O’Reilly know that?

Besides, who the hell cares what he thinks his “biggest mistake” was? What the people want to know is, why did you tell us something that you knew was false? We all know now that he knew we’d lose our healthcare plan long before the launch of the website. Why didn’t O’Reilly ask him that? Then when he says, as he most assuredly would’ve, that he didn’t know that you wouldn’t be able to keep your doctor or healthcare plan, you say, “Okay, Mr. President, if that is so, could it be that such a wide-ranging, government-initiated program was mistake to begin with? Obama will, of course, say “No”, so the next question is, “Then haven’t you shown that your administration is not competent enough to run it.”

Why didn’t O’Reilly know to ask that? I mean, for Pete’s sake, I’m nothing but a lowly a horror story writer and I can come up with better curves to throw at the man.

Does O’Reilly even have a right arm?

A favorite theologian of mine, John MacArthur, told a story about one of his science professors at his college, The Master’s College. The story goes, that before becoming a Christian and joining MacArthur’s faculty, this professor’s conversion to Christianity was initiated by a woman at a campus mixer one afternoon when he was among the teaching staff at some secular university. The woman walked up to him and politely asked him to explain the theory of Evolution to her. Figuring her to be one of those ignorant ranting Christians, the professor said that with well-refined hauteur, he took several minutes to tell her the standard Neo-Darwinist drivel that he’s told so many times before, of how the dirt turned into pre-biotic sludge, the sludge into cells, cells into micro-creatures, then fish, then lizards, then mammals, and so on and so on. He said that the woman held his gaze for a moment, then simply smiled, thanked him, and turned and walked away. “Leaving me standing there with the stupidity of what I’d just told her hanging all over my face,” he said. After that, he began questioning the many gaping holes in the ever-popular Evolutionary construct, finally realizing the absolutely untenable absurdity of such ridiculous fable, and became a Christian.

I tell that story as a lesson for our boy Bill. Rather than blurt out the inane spittle of his adolescent heckling in-between Obama’s answers, he might have used the same austere tack as the woman above.

When O’Reilly asked if Defense Secretary Leon Panetta told him it was a “terrorist attack” on our embassy in Benghazi, he should have kept his mouth shut and let Obama talk himself out, hand gestures and all, wallowing in his own discomfort as he slalomed through his answer. Then, when he’d finished, O’Reilly might have said, “But Mr. President, what I’m asking is did Leon Panetta tell you it was a terrorist attack?

“Bill,” Obama would answer, “you keep trying to catch me because that’s what Fox News does, it tries to hammer their opponents, and I’m trying to tell you that in a situation like that you have to take all the variables into account and try to help our brave men and women in arms keep this nation secure from our enemies.”

Then, with a calm and controlled expression, he might have said, “Thank you for explaining the ‘situation’ but my question was, did Leon Panetta tell you it was a terrorist attack?

Instead, buddy-boy Bill kept shooting little monosyllabic arrows that bounced off, making Obama look like he was backhanding Mr. Spin-stopper.

“But Mr. President, the American people would like to know why Kathleen Sebelius is still in your employ?”

“You see, Bill, I have always maintained that I will not tolerate shoddy work, and I think we have been consistent when it comes to- blah, blah, blah . . .”

Bantamweight Bill might have responded to Obama’s “if you like your plan you can keep you plan” mantra with something like,

“I understand that, sir, but why did you put a powerful and decisive ‘period’ after your statement, “you can keep your doctor and health plan?”

All these are things that any one of us sitting in our living rooms all over the country are screaming at out TV, from the truck driver to the fast food server.

But we get Bill “Radar” O’Reilly,

“But . . . yes, but . . . if you . . . I . . . okay, but . . . but . . . but . . . but . . .”

I wish I were head of Fox News and The United States of America. If I were, both of these incompetents would be standing in the unemployment line.

About the Author

Joe Keck is a writer of horror, thriller, suspense, and other fiction, some poetry and music, with the occasional op-ed piece on current events, politics, and theology. Although born in Oklahoma, he was taken to Los Angeles when he was an infant, or as his mother described, "the ugliest little thing I've ever seen", and raised there on the West Coast. He considers himself to be far superior to most on the artistic merits of film and literature, seeing the vast majority of such to be well below adequate. He has four novels and many short stories to his credit, and hopes to one day have them published, promising to hold critics like himself in harsh derision. He's currently restoring a Jason 35 sailboat and plans to sail the world, writing horror stories, and marveling at the illustrative works of the Creator and His Divine story-telling imagery. You may Find Joe's Website at

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