A New Battle Plan- By Joe Keck

I was just wondering. When did it become some kind of immoral or unethical action for American citizens to want to keep more of what they earn? If Mitt Romney wants to send all his money to a Swiss bank account, why would anyone have a problem with that? Why should I care if someone does their best to avoid the government getting their grubby hands on their paycheck?

“But they should pay ‘Their fair share'”.

Fine. Let’s define, “Fair Share.”

If a roofer spends nine hours laying asphalt shingling on someone’s house and gets $200 for that day’s sweating, back-breaking, sun-drenched work, what should his “fair share” be? Right now, with all the taxes he pays for the terrible penalty of being born in the United States, it’s around 50 percent.

Yes, that’s half his pay.

But it’s strategically taken out in a covert ‘automated system’ of collection so we don’t notice the loss as much.

Now let’s imagine a different system of tax collection. Let’s say someone gets their check at the end of that week. The man or woman looks down at the number to the right and smile, satisfied with their pay.

Just then, there’s a tap on their shoulder.

Mr. Worker turns around to a man in a dark blue suit and red tie.

“I’m Mr. Government Bureaucrat. I need to see your check for a moment, please,” he says, then grabs it, pulls out a fine pair of pearl handled nickel-plated scissors, snips it right down the middle, then hands half of it back to Mr. Worker, pocketing the other half. He smiles, then turns to leave.

“Wait a minute,” cries Mr. Worker. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? That’s mine, I worked for that money!”

“Oh, I see,” says Mr. Bureaucrat, turning back to Mr. Worker. “So, you’re one of those greedy, self-serving, right-wing fanatics who doesn’t care about the poor, the handicapped, the less fortunate.”

A frown of confusion. “No, that’s not it, I . . . Look, I care about people, I just don’t want you taking half my money, that’s all.”

“Don’t you see?” implores Mr. Bureaucrat. “We’re doing this for you. This is so you can be taken care of when you’re old, so you can get medical care, so you can retire with a decent income.”

Mr. Worker rolls his eyes and holds out his hand. “Give me back the other half of my check and I’ll take care of myself.”

Mr. Bureaucrat shakes his head. “Sorry, don’t trust you. You say that now, but when you reach retirement, you might not have saved sufficiently.” He starts to leave, but again, Mr. Worker stops him.

“Hold on. How about if I give you a tenth,” he asks, nodding to Bureaucrat’s interior breast pocket. “That should be-”

“Nope. Not enough.”

“Okay a fourth, then. You keep a quarter, I’ll keep a quarter, that’s fair, isn’t it?”

“Not by a long shot, buddy.”

“This is crazy!” yells Mr. Worker. “How can you just take half of what I worked for? I need a new car.”

Mr. Bureaucrat holds up his hands, palms out. “Hey, it’s not me. I just work here, man. Talk to the guys in Washington. You know, your representatives? Sorry, gotta’ go, lotta’ stops to make.”

And with that, Mr. Bureaucrat is out the door.


Shoulders drooping, a frown on Worker’s face, he steps back to his desk and drops into his chair. Then his head lifts and a smile spreads over his face. He picks up the phone and punches the boss’s extension.

“Hello, Private Employer.”

“Hey boss, it’s Worker. I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up?”

“How would you like to pay me about 30 percent less this coming year?”

Private Employer’s brows lift. “I’m listening.”

“I need a new car. How about you buy it for me?”

Private Employer hesitates, then grins. “I’d like that. Come to my office.”

Okay, kind of a silly story, but you get the idea.

For half a century, our government has had a “War on poverty”, a “War on drugs”, a “War on crime”, a war on this, a war on that, funding it all with our money. Before we declared “War” on all these things, they were much less of a problem.

Hey, Washington . . . your strategic skills suck!

Time for a new battle plan.

How about we go back to Mr. Romney, Mr. Worker, me, you, all of us working citizens keep the money we labor for, and our Government goes back to minimum requirement status of “taking care of us.”

Because so far, Field General Federal Government has failed.

It’s time for a new general, a new army. A real “soldier of fortune.”

It’s time to put the Citizens back in control of Central Command Headquarters.

Before we all become POW’s.

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