White House Dossier through illegal methods has obtained a private list written by President Obama of the things he will do if the Supreme Court strikes down the Obamacare individual insurance mandate. The list is in Obama’s handwriting, and its authenticity has been verified by the accounting firm of Schmuckle, Portobello Crumcake.
I present to you here the top ten items on the list.
1. Demand a recount
2. Ask for a Mulligan.
3. Lock self in Lincoln Bedroom with three freezers worth of Dove Bars.
4. Invoke Sharia Law and say, “How do you like your Commerce Clause now, tough guy?”
5. Check to see if each justice fully punched their card, and remove any hanging chads.
6. Appoint six additional justices to the court and try again.
7. Try telling Scalia that if I had a son, he’d look like Scalia.
8. Cancel free subscription to Sports Illustrated I just bought for that ungrateful Anthony Kennedy
9. Rewrite law using spell check to replace the word “mandate” with “Please, if you don’t mind.”
10. Start promoting new top domestic policy accomplishment, The Lilly Ledbetter Act.
Got any you’ve heard about?