It is the Onion People! The Onion! You know that site that is all Satire. Like where Jon Stewart fakes the news as a satirical Journalist. Oh that’s right, you think Comedy Central is a real news network.
A congressional spokesperson informed the FBI that talks have stalled on the Senate floor and lawmakers will need more time to debate the proposed deal to release the group of schoolchildren they took hostage earlier today. “Obviously, the most important thing here is to reach a deal that works for both sides,” read a statement from Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on the disputed $12 trillion agreement that would free the young children currently being held at gunpoint by the country’s legislative branch. “But many important questions still remain: